Cement legs

Determined to have a better day then the day before I decided to venture out. It was actually a decent day until last night. I haven’t been to the movies with the kiddos in forever. Like most normal people they like seats that are higher up in the theater. I like to stay super low to avoid the stairs. Last night we kind of met in the middle…a little high but not all the way to the top. The movie was okay but I’m pretty sure I provided the most memorable moment for everyone. As we are walking down the stairs I apparently thought it would be quicker to just fall down them. It was like my legs were cement and I couldn’t lift them properly. I guess that was one of my awesome superpowers kicking in. I wonder why my invisible power didn’t kick in too so no one would see all of my awesomeness. I used to bounce up quickly after falling but this was slow motion. I twisted my ankle and my legs went backwards. There I was a giant taco on the steps. I should have stood at the door to collect money from everyone for the show I put on. You are welcome people. Hopefully my big behind doesn’t show up on YouTube or as a meme. It’s amazing how many people just stared. Oh well…such is life. So today I have rug burns, a twisted left ankle and bum right knee. Life is too amazing for words. I suppose I should hold on the the fact that I can still walk regardless how odd I look doing it right now. ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿปstairs. They are the devil. I guess I need to start looking into life alert.

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Breathe B****!ย 

Yes I was yelling this at myself this morning as I was going up the never ending stairwell. I suppose I should start at the beginning. My friend has purchased tickets for us to go to the crown of the Statue of Liberty on my birthday. We are both pretty excited about it but of course I had a minor freak out moment because well I’m fat. I’m pretty sure fat people do not go up 20 floors of stairs ever in life. I work in a building that has 3 floors and if I have to go to the 3rd I’m taking the elevator. I’m breathing a little heavy when I take the stairs to the 2nd floor. I’m clumsy and fat so I naturally avoid stairs. Needless to say I figured if I somehow trained then perhaps I would make it to the crown next month. Today was my first “training” day. I wanted to push myself as far as I could so I would know where I stood and could set goals. Honestly I thought I would make it to the 7th or 8th floor. As I’m walking up to the building I start going thru the list of reasons why I would only get to that floor. I’m fat. I can barely do 2 floors at work. I’ve been working out twice a day so maybe my body can’t handle it. The list of excuses just kept flowing. Never in a million years did I ever think there was a possibility that I would reach the 20th floor on my first time. It was not easy by any means. There were times when I thought about quitting. I was sweating like crazy and breathing so heavy that I could have awaken the dead. Regardless I kept pushing and reached the 20th. I’m not sure if I looked at my watch correctly but I think I did it in 8 minutes. I was completely shocked. I ignored my excuses and far exceeded my expectations. Instead of saying breathe maybe I should be telling myself to shut up. โ˜บ๏ธ 

 

Fat Girl Fears

So my birthday is a month away. I decided to visit my friend and explore New York. I’m not sure what I envisioned would take place on the trip. I just thought about being in New York with my best friend. I really didn’t think of the million miles we would be walking. That didn’t really sink in until she asked me if I wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty. She said we could go all the way to the crown. I may have gone into shock. The first thing that came to my mind was this lighthouse I had visited and the thousand stairs to the top of it. The Statue of Liberty makes that lighthouse look like a small toy. My next thought was how on her birthday I was too fat to go in the helicopter with her. Will I ruin this for her too? Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. After falling into the fear pit I realize I have time to lose a few pounds and attempt to become a stair master. I may be 294 pounds right now but that doesn’t mean I will be that same weight on my birthday. I could be down 20 pounds by then if not more. I hate stairs and usually breathe heavy just thinking about going up them. If the Internet is correct we will have to do 20 stories to get to the crown. I have plenty of time to practice. So…I finally listened to my kids and joined them at the gym last night. I have avoided the gym because well I’m huge and it’s just awkward being surrounded by tons of tiny people that can last a lifetime on the machines and I’m breathing heavy after 2 minutes. It’s just uncomfortable. Either way I sucked it up and went with them. They left me to the machines while they hit the weights. It was painful and embarrassing. I was determined to try several machines and wanted to stay on them at least 10 minutes each regardless of how slow I had to move. I did a total of 3 machines. Not a lot but enough to let me know which one to avoid. ๐Ÿ˜Š There was a stair machine there but I didn’t make it to that one. I may just find a building that is over 20 stories and just go up as far as I can. I will repeat it as often as I need to until I get to the top. I can do this! I can conquer this fear as long as I focus and work hard. The gym was an excellent idea too. The lesson that I learned is that I should probably go there more often. I’m going to get more out of the gym then I will on my casual, slow pace walk each morning. The gym will challenge me more even if I just stay on the treadmill. I will be walking a steady pace instead of my stop and take a pic pace. I look forward to developing a new schedule of stairs and gym time. Fingers crossed that I will stay consistent and will be ready for the crown next month.