I’m in control

It sounds great to say it. Heck it even feels good reading it. I am where I am, I look how I look and I feel how I feel because I choose to. Yes bad things happen. People get sick and tragedies occur. We are still in control of how we respond to these things. I’m sure it sounds super cheesy but for the last week I have really tried to choose my mood. Negativity is a breeding ground for more negativity. It doesn’t feel good to be negative. I’ve worked too much and let my job control my life. Twice last week I left work early to join friends for a drink. I stayed late one night and actually felt great doing it because I chose to do it. I didn’t feel all of the heaviness and stress of completing a task. I stayed because I really wanted to. I know this may sound crazy or not make sense to most people. I felt free this past week. I wasn’t stressed and snapping at people. Anytime I started to have a negative thought I would correct myself. I have a million things to be thankful for so I choose to focus on that and where I want to go instead of all of the darkness that has been surrounding me. I won’t lie and say it has been easy. It’s actually kind of scary when you start to pay attention to your negative moments and how often they occur. Little things like judging someone’s shoes. Why is that even important? It’s such a small thing but that one small negative thing turns into hatred and depression. First it’s the shoes and then you start picking everything and everyone apart including yourself. When you can recognize that then you can start to change. I knew I couldn’t do it completely on my own so I started to feed my mind positive messages. I started to read a book and have been listening to T.D. Jakes. Below are a few of my takeaways. Hopefully they will help someone like they have me. 

  • You will never get anyone to believe in you until you believe in yourself 
  • When you start running from one thing you are going to keep running from everything
  • Whatever you are saying about they may be about you. Your they may be you in disguise
  • If you don’t have confidence in private you won’t have power in public 
  • It isn’t about what you say. It is what you believe. You know all the right things to say but do you actually believe what you are saying about yourself 
  • These things that you believe become your vision statement
  • Your unbelief is a result of something you heard. You didn’t believe you were dumb until someone told you that you were. Until you change the words in your head, your opportunities will continue to hemorrhage 
  • You are planted not buried. When you bury something you intend it to stay in the ground. When something is planted you intend to grow it. 
  • Everything is a choice
  • You choose the food you eat, the clothes you wear, and the thoughts you think. You choose to be calm or restless, you choose to feel appreciative or ungrateful 
  • Love is a choice. Anger is a choice. Fear is a choice. Courage is a choice.
  • You choose

One Hour

There is no doubt that time is precious. I often feel like there is not enough time in a day to accomplish all that I want to. The truth is there is plenty of time I just do not use it wisely. This is the last week of the 21 day fix. In fact I believe this is day 19. For days 15-21 it was suggested that I do 2 workouts per day. Instead of doing two of the videos I had planned to do one video and then take a 30 minute walk at some point during the day. I really miss walking. It’s so therapeutic. Most people like to listen to music when they run or walk. I like to be alone with my thoughts. I haven’t been walking in a very long time. It was all kind of downhill after I injured my foot a year ago. A couple of days ago I made my way to the beach for my walk. Not my best idea ever. It wasn’t the 30 minute walk I intended it to be because well it’s sunset on the beach. I walked a little and then took a bunch of pics. It was such a beautiful evening. Needless to say I had excuses for the other days. I worked too late, my show comes on tonight and I have to cook. I’m off work today so there are no excuses. Today was the day to finally attempt to walk again. I’m naturally a slow walker. I’m not one of those pulse checking chicks walking faster than someone runs. Maybe one day but not today. Everything is slow motion these days. I’m sure if I keep going I will start to move a little quicker. I decided it would be wise to set a timer before I left. I wanted to know how far I could go in the allotted time so I can try to exceed that distance each day. As I’m walking I begin to think about how I spend my time each day. Why can’t I carve out 30 minutes two times a day? It’s not even a consecutive hour. It takes 30 minutes to do the video and a 30 minute walk. I had planned to do one in the morning and one in the evening. I always feel so much better after both so why do I cheat myself of that feeling? I will work way too many hours and sit on the couch watching tv but I can’t plan out 30 minutes twice a day to do something that will benefit me, my family and others around me. That’s pure insanity. I truly believe if people would carve out time for themselves the world would be a happier place. We are all worth it…the hard part is realizing that. So…it’s time for me to develop a healthy habit. Rain or shine I will walk for 30 minutes every single day and will continue to do my videos for another 21 days. You don’t get what you want by doing nothing. I don’t want to just lose weight. I want to be a healthier and happier person.