Progress!

Yesterday I had my follow up appointment with my doctor. Guess who lost 6 pounds since their last appointment?!? That’s right…this chick. It looks like my little bit of gym time is paying off. I started Weight Watchers a few days ago as well. I suck at eating the right thing but hopefully this points thing will help me. So far I’m obsessed with not exceeding my points. It’s a struggle but if I can keep up with it then I know I will see positive results. Next on the list is the yoga class. I’m hoping that with my gym time, Weight Watchers, yoga and DietBets I can finally win this weight battle. Either way, I’m enjoying the process this time.

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No excuses

I must admit I stayed in bed an extra hour this morning arguing with myself. I’m 40, obese and just had a pretty nasty fall yesterday. I stayed up later than I should have. I have a lot I need to get done today. What if I can’t walk because I’m sore from the fall? It’s cold out side. Someone needs to feed the cat. For real…how many excuses can you make up to not go to the gym? That’s right I’m 40 and obese. Sounds like more of a reason to go than not go. Yes I stayed up late but guess what I’m awake so there’s that. It’s 30 minutes…you have plenty of hours in the day to accomplish other things. Hello big girl you got up multiple times to pee already so you can walk. Oh and you were not dragging a leg so you are not that sore. You like the cold so find another excuse. He’s a cat…he has food and it’s not like it takes 5 hours to give him more. Get your big ass up and go to the gym! I did just that and it feels great! I’m bruised but not broken. No more excuses!

Always waiting…

I’m pretty sure I’m one of the recent blogs if not the last one I said I was done waiting for people. Well…that was a lie. After the last post I went to the gym the next day and actually got my time down to a little over 30 minutes. The next day was going to be a rest day and then the excuses started to happen again. Someone was supposed to go with me and I just kept waiting for them to show so that we could go. I even moved the start time later and still nothing. I kept telling myself they needed my help and if I didn’t wait for them then they would never go. Well…the joke was on me because we never made it back to the gym. Last night I finally told them I was tired of waiting. I was leaving with or without them in the morning. It’s so hard to be selfish and put yourself first. You can’t save the world if you can’t save yourself. I guess I thought I could motivate someone but I really just ended up losing my tiny progress. So…time to reboot again. If they want to go they will go. I have to focus on me right now. I waited five extra minutes this morning and then decided to go to the gym without them. I’m so glad that I did. I’m walking very slow but at least I’m there. I’m not really focused on time or distance at this point. This morning I just walked until I wanted to stop. I signed up for a yoga class last night as well. The class starts in January. I’m super pumped about learning yoga. I’m hoping between the gym and yoga I will be less stressed, happier and healthier. A girl can dream 😊

Success!!

Okay this one will be super short but I wanted to share. We have already established I walk super slow. Yesterday it took me 36 minutes to make it to 1.5 miles on the treadmill. Today it took me 33 minutes. That’s right…shaved 3 minutes off! Boom! I may or may not be doing the running man at this moment. 😂 I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. I will have to change my distance goal if I make it in 30 minutes. High fives all around people! I’m just a little excited. 🤗

A different approach

Wow…I have to admit I feel amazing this morning. I woke up way before my alarm was supposed to go off. I contemplated not going to the gym because I didn’t get enough rest. Then I told myself to stop being lazy. I wasn’t going to fall back to sleep and I just needed to get up and stop making excuses. So…I did just that. For the whopping two days I went to the gym last week I only did 30 minutes on the treadmill and left. After all work was so important that I needed to get there early. That’s what I told myself anyway. I walked super slow for those 30 minutes because well…I’m fat as hell with jacked knees and didn’t want to push myself. This week…I want things to be different. Going to the gym takes priority over getting to work early. If I want to get to work early then I need to move faster. I decided my time on the treadmill would be based on distance instead of time. Today my goal was to reach a mile and a half. It’s not a long ways but if you walk super slow then it can take a while. I found myself speeding up the treadmill so that I could reach the distance faster. I know it may sound crazy but it helped me and now I know I can do more than I have been. Tomorrow I will try to beat the time I had today. As I improve then the goal will increase. Before you know it I will be at a 5K. 😊

Almost a complete waste

A week ago today I joined a gym. I had convinced myself I was ready and nothing was going to get in my way. I woke up early and made it to the gym for the first two days. By the third day I started putting work before myself. I told myself it was okay to take a rest day. The next day I told myself I would go after work since I needed to be at work early. The boys said they wanted to go with me so it would be fine. I waited for one of them to get off work only to be told they were hungry and didn’t want to go. The next day was my work Christmas party so I needed to get to work early because I volunteered to work at the party. Again, no workout before or after work. Saturday was going to be the day. No work so no excuses. I woke up and waited for the boys. I just knew they would go with me. They had more excuses and said they would go later. Later came and left and still no gym time. I had finally reached my limit and said forget it. Sunday I’m going by myself and not waiting on anyone. I needed to go to work first. The excuse is too long to explain. After working several hours I came home to change clothes. I asked the boys if they wanted to come with me. One said he did but he had to go to work first. He would be off early so we would get to go when he got home. I waited and waited. Of course he got off 2.5 hours later than he thought. It’s too late to go now and I’m in bed already. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. I let the excuses, work and others get in the way. It wasn’t a complete waste of a week though. I learned a few things along the way. You have to be motivated to go to a gym alone where you know no one. There is no one depending on you to show up but you. I felt out of place and uncomfortable but I did show up at least a couple of days. I need to stop waiting on others. Their path is not my path. They will go to the gym when they are ready to go. I will continue to ask but I will not wait or not go because of them. Work is work. It is a job that provides me with money to pay bills and attempt to enjoy life. It is not my entire life. I don’t want to live to work. I want to work to live. Tomorrow is a new day and full of possibilities. Hopefully week two will be better than the first week. 😳

Fat Girl Fears

So my birthday is a month away. I decided to visit my friend and explore New York. I’m not sure what I envisioned would take place on the trip. I just thought about being in New York with my best friend. I really didn’t think of the million miles we would be walking. That didn’t really sink in until she asked me if I wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty. She said we could go all the way to the crown. I may have gone into shock. The first thing that came to my mind was this lighthouse I had visited and the thousand stairs to the top of it. The Statue of Liberty makes that lighthouse look like a small toy. My next thought was how on her birthday I was too fat to go in the helicopter with her. Will I ruin this for her too? Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. After falling into the fear pit I realize I have time to lose a few pounds and attempt to become a stair master. I may be 294 pounds right now but that doesn’t mean I will be that same weight on my birthday. I could be down 20 pounds by then if not more. I hate stairs and usually breathe heavy just thinking about going up them. If the Internet is correct we will have to do 20 stories to get to the crown. I have plenty of time to practice. So…I finally listened to my kids and joined them at the gym last night. I have avoided the gym because well I’m huge and it’s just awkward being surrounded by tons of tiny people that can last a lifetime on the machines and I’m breathing heavy after 2 minutes. It’s just uncomfortable. Either way I sucked it up and went with them. They left me to the machines while they hit the weights. It was painful and embarrassing. I was determined to try several machines and wanted to stay on them at least 10 minutes each regardless of how slow I had to move. I did a total of 3 machines. Not a lot but enough to let me know which one to avoid. 😊 There was a stair machine there but I didn’t make it to that one. I may just find a building that is over 20 stories and just go up as far as I can. I will repeat it as often as I need to until I get to the top. I can do this! I can conquer this fear as long as I focus and work hard. The gym was an excellent idea too. The lesson that I learned is that I should probably go there more often. I’m going to get more out of the gym then I will on my casual, slow pace walk each morning. The gym will challenge me more even if I just stay on the treadmill. I will be walking a steady pace instead of my stop and take a pic pace. I look forward to developing a new schedule of stairs and gym time. Fingers crossed that I will stay consistent and will be ready for the crown next month.