Yesterday I had my follow up appointment with my doctor. Guess who lost 6 pounds since their last appointment?!? That’s right…this chick. It looks like my little bit of gym time is paying off. I started Weight Watchers a few days ago as well. I suck at eating the right thing but hopefully this points thing will help me. So far I’m obsessed with not exceeding my points. It’s a struggle but if I can keep up with it then I know I will see positive results. Next on the list is the yoga class. I’m hoping that with my gym time, Weight Watchers, yoga and DietBets I can finally win this weight battle. Either way, I’m enjoying the process this time.



Okay this one will be super short but I wanted to share. We have already established I walk super slow. Yesterday it took me 36 minutes to make it to 1.5 miles on the treadmill. Today it took me 33 minutes. That’s right…shaved 3 minutes off! Boom! I may or may not be doing the running man at this moment. 😂 I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. I will have to change my distance goal if I make it in 30 minutes. High fives all around people! I’m just a little excited. 🤗

A different approach

Wow…I have to admit I feel amazing this morning. I woke up way before my alarm was supposed to go off. I contemplated not going to the gym because I didn’t get enough rest. Then I told myself to stop being lazy. I wasn’t going to fall back to sleep and I just needed to get up and stop making excuses. So…I did just that. For the whopping two days I went to the gym last week I only did 30 minutes on the treadmill and left. After all work was so important that I needed to get there early. That’s what I told myself anyway. I walked super slow for those 30 minutes because well…I’m fat as hell with jacked knees and didn’t want to push myself. This week…I want things to be different. Going to the gym takes priority over getting to work early. If I want to get to work early then I need to move faster. I decided my time on the treadmill would be based on distance instead of time. Today my goal was to reach a mile and a half. It’s not a long ways but if you walk super slow then it can take a while. I found myself speeding up the treadmill so that I could reach the distance faster. I know it may sound crazy but it helped me and now I know I can do more than I have been. Tomorrow I will try to beat the time I had today. As I improve then the goal will increase. Before you know it I will be at a 5K. 😊

Punching bag

Most people take their anger and frustrations out on others. I apparently just continue to beat up myself. The hole just gets deeper and deeper the more I think about my failures. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would be where I am with my weight. I also assumed that it would be fairly easy to drop weight in the beginning because I am so large. Maybe it would have been if I would have done things differently. I’m losing the battle and it’s totally my fault. It’s so easy to get off course, give up or come up with excuses. I start a lot of things but never seem to complete them. I’ve got a lot of dreams but never do anything to make them become reality. All of these negative thoughts just lead to bigger questions. Why am I here and what is my purpose? It’s a difficult thing to truly look at yourself. I can easily point out all of my faults and shortcomings. The list of positive things doesn’t exist. I constantly remind myself where I fall short and then set these huge goals to change things. In doing that I just further set myself up for failure because I never reach those goals. Let’s just look at my weight challenges. I was 293.6 pounds the last time I weighed. Instead of setting short term goals I went for the big one and said I wanted to be 135 pounds. Do you know how long it will take for me to reach that goal? I will give up long before it happens because it’s too far off. I do this with everything in my life. I want the prize at the end but it’s never an easy one to get to. I end up going thru the vicious cycle of beating myself up for being where I am and giving up because the goal doesn’t seem attainable. It’s hard to change how your mind works but that is exactly what I need to do. I know I can win the battle but I need much smaller goals. Goals that are attainable so that I am winning instead of beating myself up for being so far off. So…yes I would love to be 135 but that’s isn’t realistic right now. My new goal is to be 275. That is a much smaller bite so hopefully I will stick with it. Once that goal is met then I will continue to adjust it to a new goal. Hopefully this will work for me. Quitting isn’t an option.