Yesterday I had my follow up appointment with my doctor. Guess who lost 6 pounds since their last appointment?!? That’s right…this chick. It looks like my little bit of gym time is paying off. I started Weight Watchers a few days ago as well. I suck at eating the right thing but hopefully this points thing will help me. So far I’m obsessed with not exceeding my points. It’s a struggle but if I can keep up with it then I know I will see positive results. Next on the list is the yoga class. I’m hoping that with my gym time, Weight Watchers, yoga and DietBets I can finally win this weight battle. Either way, I’m enjoying the process this time.


Always waiting…

I’m pretty sure I’m one of the recent blogs if not the last one I said I was done waiting for people. Well…that was a lie. After the last post I went to the gym the next day and actually got my time down to a little over 30 minutes. The next day was going to be a rest day and then the excuses started to happen again. Someone was supposed to go with me and I just kept waiting for them to show so that we could go. I even moved the start time later and still nothing. I kept telling myself they needed my help and if I didn’t wait for them then they would never go. Well…the joke was on me because we never made it back to the gym. Last night I finally told them I was tired of waiting. I was leaving with or without them in the morning. It’s so hard to be selfish and put yourself first. You can’t save the world if you can’t save yourself. I guess I thought I could motivate someone but I really just ended up losing my tiny progress. So…time to reboot again. If they want to go they will go. I have to focus on me right now. I waited five extra minutes this morning and then decided to go to the gym without them. I’m so glad that I did. I’m walking very slow but at least I’m there. I’m not really focused on time or distance at this point. This morning I just walked until I wanted to stop. I signed up for a yoga class last night as well. The class starts in January. I’m super pumped about learning yoga. I’m hoping between the gym and yoga I will be less stressed, happier and healthier. A girl can dream 😊

Almost a complete waste

A week ago today I joined a gym. I had convinced myself I was ready and nothing was going to get in my way. I woke up early and made it to the gym for the first two days. By the third day I started putting work before myself. I told myself it was okay to take a rest day. The next day I told myself I would go after work since I needed to be at work early. The boys said they wanted to go with me so it would be fine. I waited for one of them to get off work only to be told they were hungry and didn’t want to go. The next day was my work Christmas party so I needed to get to work early because I volunteered to work at the party. Again, no workout before or after work. Saturday was going to be the day. No work so no excuses. I woke up and waited for the boys. I just knew they would go with me. They had more excuses and said they would go later. Later came and left and still no gym time. I had finally reached my limit and said forget it. Sunday I’m going by myself and not waiting on anyone. I needed to go to work first. The excuse is too long to explain. After working several hours I came home to change clothes. I asked the boys if they wanted to come with me. One said he did but he had to go to work first. He would be off early so we would get to go when he got home. I waited and waited. Of course he got off 2.5 hours later than he thought. It’s too late to go now and I’m in bed already. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. I let the excuses, work and others get in the way. It wasn’t a complete waste of a week though. I learned a few things along the way. You have to be motivated to go to a gym alone where you know no one. There is no one depending on you to show up but you. I felt out of place and uncomfortable but I did show up at least a couple of days. I need to stop waiting on others. Their path is not my path. They will go to the gym when they are ready to go. I will continue to ask but I will not wait or not go because of them. Work is work. It is a job that provides me with money to pay bills and attempt to enjoy life. It is not my entire life. I don’t want to live to work. I want to work to live. Tomorrow is a new day and full of possibilities. Hopefully week two will be better than the first week. 😳

Another beginning…

Wow….so much has happened or not happened since the last time I blogged. I’m not even sure where to begin. As crazy as it may sound, I believe that things happen for a reason. There could be simple things like reading a book that you had for years but maybe you needed the message now. Maybe it is sitting by a complete stranger on a plane and you needing to hear their story. Life has a funny way of showing you things as long as you are open to seeing them. I just want to say I get it…I need to make changes. I’m currently at the highest weight I have ever been in my life. I used to think 300 lbs was the highest I would go. God knows I swore to myself a million times that I was going to change. I know all of the right words to say but it’s the action part that I would get hung up on. The last time I went to the doctor I weighed 326 lbs and even though I’m on blood pressure medicine, my blood pressure was still high. I talked to the doctor about my knees and the swelling that I was experiencing. I guess bootcamp was a little too much for this big body. I hate to admit defeat but it was too difficult. My doctor told me that I should have never done it. The jumping, burpees and craziness is too much for me right now. She told me she wanted to me to get an X-ray on one of my knees and to do at least 30 minutes of cardio a day. She changed my blood pressure medicine to include a water pill to help with the swelling. I’m almost 100% sure that my job is playing into my blood pressure issues. For years I have worked way more than I should and have neglected myself. Sometimes it takes tragic situations for you to wake up and realize that life is too short. Over the course of the last couple weeks my eyes and ears have been wide open. I’ve attended work conferences but personally needed the message from the speakers. I was surrounded by some amazing people on the flights and heard their stories. A friend was rushed to the hospital which shook me to my core. You start to question yourself and how you are living your life. Will anyone at my job miss me if I die tomorrow? Am I living an infinite or finite life? Do I put myself and my family first? Am I living my best life? I could go on and on with the million questions that I asked myself. At the end of the day I want to be a better person that has a positive impact on those around me. I want to be healthy and happy. So…tomorrow is a new beginning. I can’t change all of the poor decisions that got me to this point but I can try to make better decisions going forward. No more excuses!

When did that happen? 

My fear of the scale this morning put me behind schedule so I was unable to get my workout in before work. What? I seriously had a real life debate with myself. Not to mention the bad dream of me gaining 30 pounds in a week. As you may have noticed I freak myself out a lot apparently. It’s okay really. It’s just my way of talking myself thru situations. I’m not one to give up easily but sometimes I think way too much so I may be just a little slower to do things. Usually it’s the things I should not think about at all but whatever. We are who we are. Anyway….it was too late for the workout so I said I would do it after work. Well…I worked later than I should have which means I was late to go to the store and then late to start dinner. Dinner was great by the way. It was our first time ever eating turkey tacos and they were yummy. I do miss the cheese dip but perhaps another day when I get a handle on this situation. During the eating of the turkey tacos we watched The Voice. After The Voice was Blindspot. You see…the workout kept getting pushed off. I really just wanted to crawl into my cold bed and get some rest. Don’t worry I talked myself out of it which is why this is being posted so late. I can’t stop now just because I lost so much the first week. My body may slow down and I may only lose 3 pounds next week. I want to make sure I’m doing my part to get the most out of these 21 days. The workout was torture. Did someone sneak in my house and switch the video? I swear I must have blocked out the memory of the first time I did Total Body Cardio Fix. Son of biscuit that was no joke. I may legit fall to the ground if someone asks me to raise my hand. My arms are like cement blocks with extra cement if that’s even possible. Big middle finger to those knee surrender things too. We should change the name to Totally Kick Your Butt Body Cardio Fix. That’s okay…me and modified girl were all over it. I was slower but one day I will catch up to her. Upper Fix in the morning? I think not! I will take my jello arms to work and pray they are ready for the upper body workout by the time I’m off work. If not I will just look like a complete crazy person when I do it anyway. 

Fear of the Scale

I decided to wait until 7 complete days of workouts and diet before weighing in again. I must admit I didn’t feel like I lost anything. In fact I felt like I had gained. I thought I would have some great surge in energy with Shakeology but that didn’t really happen either. Honestly I think that part was tied in with the food challenges. I felt like I was eating so much food that I was just tired. The first week hasn’t been the easiest and I still haven’t mastered the workouts or food part of the 21 day fix. It’s a process. One that I felt like was not working at all. I was really beginning to question if this was the right thing for me. That is until I weighed in today. Holy mash potatoes batman!! I’m down 7.7 pounds after week 1. Yes you read that right…I lost 7.7 pounds in one stinkin week. I am in shock to say the least. In one week I managed to say bye bye bye to the 300s. I’m not sure how my fat percentage went up but oh well the weight part went down. I will take my win and pray that I keep getting positive results.  


Yoga is no joke! 

Wow…I didn’t think it was going to be easy but dang. Yoga is seriously no joke. They look all pretty and relaxed in the video. I’m hopping around like a crazy person trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m clueless when it comes to the different poses. Well I was until she said downward dog!?!?! Downward dog+plank+burpees=pure chaos. My favorite yoga pose was the corpse pose. If you don’t know you should look it up. Best thing ever! I can hold that pose forever. I guess that’s part of the problem huh? 😔 Well…I have survived the first 7 days of workouts. Tomorrow I’m going to weigh in and see if we have made any progress. I must admit I still can’t consume all of the food that want me to and I have yet to meet my water goal. I’m honestly scared out of my mind that I’ve gained. I don’t feel any lighter. In fact I feel bloated. Maybe it’s the change in diet and just gas. I don’t know. I guess we will find out in the morning. Wish me luck!