Baby steps

I’ve tried and failed a million times. Losing weight can be challenging. My biggest obstacle is me. I seem to lack discipline and of course the mental side of things is not easy. This time around I thought I would try to deal with my crazy. If I could strip away the work excuses and stress and focus on being positive then perhaps I would start to see changes. It’s difficult to make changes if you are constantly beating yourself up or not putting yourself first. I’m trying to ease into it. Monday I started tracking my calories and started taking walks again. The doctor would love for me to eat 1200 calories but I think I should take baby steps. Going from eating God only knows how many calories to eating just 1200 is too extreme. I’m pretty sure I would convince myself I was dying and/or starving to death. Extreme changes do not work for me. I get frustrated and quit. I’m hoping tracking the calories will make me more aware of what I’m putting into my body. I may not eat a lot of food but the foods that I was choosing were high in calories. On Sunday we had our last “free meal”. I was shocked when I added up the calories. Just lunch was 2600 calories. Complete insanity. This is a meal that I’ve ordered several times before and did not even realize exactly what I was doing. I think being more aware and learning what the different calorie counts are for the foods that I eat will help me come up with a better plan. The walking is difficult to say the least. I’m glad I’m getting back to it but I’m super slow. I can feel the additional weight that I’ve added to my body. I keep telling myself that it will all improve soon enough. So…I’m listening to positive messages, tracking my calories and easing back into walking again. One message, step and calorie at a time. 

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Pointless

My 21 day challenge ended yesterday. Just in case you were wondering, I failed in a big way. Below was the list of things I had hope to accomplish. I only conquered one. Yep…pathetic. I’m beginning to think trying to lose weight is like trying to get pregnant. You think and stress about it so much it doesn’t happen. The minute you relax and go with the flow a miracle occurs. Okay maybe that’s wishful thinking. Losing weight for me will be really hard until I commit to it. There is no point in me trying until I can be fully committed. I’m only driving myself insane with my failures. I know I have a huge problem and I know how to solve it so why can’t I commit already?  

21 day challenge

1. Drink Shakeology daily – fail

2. Drink at least 100 ounces of water daily – fail

3. Exercise at least 30 minutes per day – fail

4. Give up Facebook for 21 days – success 

5. Blog at least twice a week – fail

6. Lose 10 pounds – I gained 3…big fail

7. No fast food – fail

8. Work less than 60 hours a week – fail

9. Create a budget and stick with it – fail

10. Read a book – fail