Baby steps

I’ve tried and failed a million times. Losing weight can be challenging. My biggest obstacle is me. I seem to lack discipline and of course the mental side of things is not easy. This time around I thought I would try to deal with my crazy. If I could strip away the work excuses and stress and focus on being positive then perhaps I would start to see changes. It’s difficult to make changes if you are constantly beating yourself up or not putting yourself first. I’m trying to ease into it. Monday I started tracking my calories and started taking walks again. The doctor would love for me to eat 1200 calories but I think I should take baby steps. Going from eating God only knows how many calories to eating just 1200 is too extreme. I’m pretty sure I would convince myself I was dying and/or starving to death. Extreme changes do not work for me. I get frustrated and quit. I’m hoping tracking the calories will make me more aware of what I’m putting into my body. I may not eat a lot of food but the foods that I was choosing were high in calories. On Sunday we had our last “free meal”. I was shocked when I added up the calories. Just lunch was 2600 calories. Complete insanity. This is a meal that I’ve ordered several times before and did not even realize exactly what I was doing. I think being more aware and learning what the different calorie counts are for the foods that I eat will help me come up with a better plan. The walking is difficult to say the least. I’m glad I’m getting back to it but I’m super slow. I can feel the additional weight that I’ve added to my body. I keep telling myself that it will all improve soon enough. So…I’m listening to positive messages, tracking my calories and easing back into walking again. One message, step and calorie at a time. 

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Complete Fail

Plan K was successful on Monday. Well at least for the workout side of things. Unfortunately Tuesday and Wednesday was a complete fail. Thursday isn’t looking too positive either. The short version is my sons car started to overheat about an hour before I was suppose to meet my friend at the gym. I had to follow him to a car place and leave his car there so that they could work on it the next morning. Since I now have the only car I got to play chauffeur. After talking to some people we decided to pick his car up Wednesday morning and take it to a dealership. It’s too new to be overheating. Surely it is covered by warranty. My luck it will be that one thing that isn’t. Anyway….we didn’t make it to the dealership because his boss called him into work. That’s right…I’m still the lucky chauffeur and no gym time is happening. We will try again tomorrow. Chances are I will have to drop the car off and I will continue to be the driver. Work is chaotic and so is life right now. Hopefully next week will be my week. 

So what had happen was…

Plan K was not a complete success. I had planned to go shopping yesterday after work but of course I worked too long. By the time we finished with dinner it was close to 9pm. Needless to say my eating was crap today but I did manage to leave work at 5pm to go to the gym. Of course I went back to work nice and ripe after the gym. I’m sure I was loved by many. I think my nastiness will help me leave at a decent time. 😊 Tonight I decided it was better to go to the store before dinner or else I may not go. I didn’t get everything I need but at least I have a few healthy snacks. My friend and I have decided to order meals from this clean eating place. We are going to try and eat them for lunch during the week. Unfortunately that won’t start until maybe next week. Until then I will try to punt my way thru this week. Eating healthy is probably my biggest hurdle. If I can conquer that beast then maybe I will finally see a difference in my weight loss journey. Fingers and toes crossed that I will work this out. I may have a thousand plans and be on an emotional roller coaster but at least I’m not giving up. 😁

Plan K

I’ve made so many plans to become healthier and work less but nothing has worked out yet. If it did work out, I didn’t stick with it. It’s super hard to win when you are fighting against your own stubborn self. So…I’ve come up with a new plan. Work sucks right now and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. I’m going to have to work a lot of hours but perhaps I can take better control of my day. I’m still going to get to work early in hopes that I will be able to leave before dark. Breakfast will be oatmeal or a shake at my desk. I will try to meal prep today so that I can bring a healthy lunch to eat at my desk. I will leave at 5pm to go to the gym. After the gym I will return to work and have a shake for dinner. So basically I’m leaving work before dark but coming back. 😊 It may not be the healthiest plan but it has to be healthier than what I’m doing now. Tomorrow the fun begins. Wish me luck! 

Scale Challenges

Month two of my DietBet challenge has come to an end which means I must weigh in. With all of the craziness of moving, working a million hours, not eating right and not making it to the gym like I should I have been avoiding the scale. I knew I was falling into old habits but I really didn’t need the scale to confirm that. So I did what any normal person would do…I talked to the scale. For the love of God and all that is holy please don’t show a number over 300 pounds again. Just in case you are wondering…that didn’t work out in my favor. So then I went to plan B…move the scale around my bathroom until I see the number I want to see. Boom! That worked! I may not know my true weight but I got the number I needed for the DietBet challenge. I’m pretty sure that won’t work next time so I need to get my crap together. Hopefully things will balance out soon at work and I will finish moving this weekend. A girl can dream…

How did that happen?

Today was the final weigh-in for one of my DietBets. I can honestly say I was dreading it. I had been walking and hitting the gym so much but not seeing any movement. I finally accepted the fact that the issue had to be with my eating. I did a little research on polycystic ovary syndrome and discovered there is a list of foods I should avoid. It also broke down what I should be eating and how often. I knew that PCOS made it difficult to lose weight but I never even thought there would be some sort of diet that needed to be followed with it to help lose weight. It totally makes sense and I feel a little silly for not thinking of it sooner. Oh well…you live and you learn. After learning this lesson I decided it was probably best that I do the one thing I’ve been avoiding…meal prepping. I finally went shopping and prepped my meals for the week yesterday. Apparently with PCOS they suggest you eat 4-6 times a day. Needless to say I purchased my snacks too. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t going to reach my goal for this weigh-in but damn it I would be prepared for the next one. After staring at it for a long time I finally dragged the scale out and stepped on. I could not believe my eyes! I was out of the 300 pound club and met my DietBet goal!!! I don’t know how in the heck I lost 8 pounds since Wednesday but I will take it. So stinkin excited!! Now off to conquer this week with my new diet. 😁👍🏻

Tried and failed

Today is my 40th birthday and also my weigh-in day for my DietBet. My goal was to leave behind the 300 pound club by today. Unfortunately I did not reach that goal. It sucks. It sucks a lot actually. I’ve already worked my way through the whole emotional cycle. Yes it is that quick for me. Well if you ask my sister she thinks I’m emotionless or emotionally dead. Someone else told me that I bottle emotions up and stuff them down deep. They are convinced everything will come rushing back one day I will explode. Of course I disagree with all of it. I just have what I call flash emotions. I feel the different emotions…I just go thru them quickly. I choose not to dwell on the negative ones for very long. I was disappointment that I didn’t reach my goal. I had the slight pity party where I convince myself that I’ve done all of these things and I should be losing weight. Why even try? What’s the point? I should just give up. Blah blah blah. Then I go to the angry let me set this place on fire emotion because damn it I should be losing. And finally I get to the okay…it didn’t work out how I would like so what did I do or not do and how can I change this? After trying and failing to lose weight so many times I think I’m starting to finally learn a little more about it. I’m beginning to believe there are three things that you need to focus on to be successful. Yes this is coming from someone that has failed but it’s probably because I’ve missed one of the three things. 

  1. Deal with and defeat the mental monster that will constantly try to sabotage you and tell you what you can and cannot do
  2. Eat the right food and the right amount (yes this is where I’m failing)
  3. Exercise. Get your workout on! 

I’ve been great at fighting my mental demons and exercising. The food part is where I always fall short. Beginning tomorrow…yes tomorrow. It’s my birthday remember?!? 😊 I will attempt to fight that beast tomorrow. I think that will be the key to me finally dropping some weight. Wish me luck! As you can see me and my emotional rollercoaster will need it.