Just me, myself and I

Warning this may be an asshole moment. I think today it finally hit me. The light came on or whatever the heck you want to call it. My kids are older and doing there own thing now. My friends have younger kids, financial challenges or I just suck. Either way I find myself alone a lot. During this alone time I’m practically begging friends and family to eat, watch tv, go somewhere or whatever else. A majority of the time I strike out. If they say yes it really is a temporary yes. I wait, wait and wait some more only to be told I can go ahead without them. Thanks…the day is almost over so now I’m just staying home. It sucks a lot. You start questioning yourself. Why am I alone? Why doesn’t anyone want to hang out? As I’m sitting at the beach eating breakfast alone I realize that I’m totally okay being alone. I’m funny and just all around freakin amazing so I can entertain my damn self. I will go to the movies, take a trip, eat wherever I want and enjoy life solo. I’m done asking and waiting. Life is too short and me, myself and I have lots we want to do. See ya when I see ya ✌️

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Dramatic much?

Okay I will be the first to admit that I can be super dramatic at times. I mean I did google life alert after I fell down. What? I was curious if there was some sort of age requirement. I’m only 41 but clearly have a falling issue. What if I’m slower and slower to get up with each fall? I’m just saying that fashionable life alert necklace may come in handy one day. Anyway…I like to read the news before I fall asleep. That may not make a lot of sense considering it is scary as 💩. There are a 1000 articles about what will happen if you eat or don’t eat this or that. As I’m skimming thru I see one that says my pillow can affect my health. My pillow? Really? That’s where we are? The only way I can see it affecting my health is if I was being smothered by it. I thought I was being “healthy” by not drinking regular soda. I had heard that diet soda causes cancer. Well apparently so does Coke Zero. They just change the formula people. Haven’t you seen the commercial? I’m pretty sure cancer causing stuff was taken out of the new version. Lettuce is making people sick now. Is anything safe? Baby powder causes cancer. Isn’t that nuts? Don’t sleep on your side, back or stomach. I bet there is something about each position that will cause hives. Do you have a microwave? Yeah you are going to hell. 😂 I’m just kidding. It’s insane the amount of stuff we are warned about now. I want to be a kid again where I can run around barefoot, eat mud pies and drink water from the water hose. I did all of that and was rarely sick. In fact I never stayed a night in the hospital until I was pregnant. That’s right…I’m a healthy fat chick. Well except for that weight and blood pressure thing but whatever. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I can’t handle the crazy. I’m going to bed before the world ends.

Shopping while fat

I hate shopping! Stores are set up like there are very few fat people in the world. The clothing section is always extremely small. The XS sizes are on the top and the XXXL sizes are on the bottom. Do they assume that skinny people are tall and fat people are short? I promise you don’t want to see me bending over digging thru everything on the bottom shelf. I tried finding the workout shirts with funny sayings but nope only inspirational messages could be found. What? I have abs…they are just hidden right now. I could probably find them in the men’s section but why do I have to do that? I have the same challenges when I shop for shoes. Apparently the world is made up skinny people with tiny feet. The smallest shoe sizes are on the top and the largest are on the bottom. I honestly have no idea what the average shoe size is for a woman. Clearly my feet are huge. I guess they grew longer as my body went wider. 🤷‍♀️ I challenge you to find decent looking size 11 women’s shoes in a store. That section is almost nonexistent. Again I’m forced to the men’s section. I’m not a dude! I don’t want to shop online for clothes and shoes either. Where is the fun in that? I would rather torture myself with trying on a ton of clothes and buying nothing because I’m depressed about my weight. 😂 Oh the drama of shopping while fat