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Attack of the treadmill

Do you think treadmill makers take fat, clumsy people into account when they make the treadmills? My guess is no because the treadmill hates me. I’m pretty sure I hate it too. Once upon a time I fell on a treadmill. What can I say? I’m not the most graceful person. I fall down all of the time. It’s awesome. There is nothing like a giant person falling down for no apparent reason. All of this meat and potatoes moving around cannot be a pleasant sight. Anyway…since that one time years ago that I fell on the treadmill I now hold on with both hands. Well up until recently I held on with two hands. You see I decided I was venturing out. I’m working out in a gym. I can do this. I can totally walk on the treadmill swinging both arms like a normal person. I decide I’m going to ease into it since I’m a giant punk. One arm free at a time. After all I need to swing at least one arm to get my Fitbit steps. I had a death grip on the treadmill with one hand and started to swing the other arm. There are cameras at the gym so I may show up on America’s funniest videos. The treadmill is not wide enough for my big ass. If I don’t position myself just right on the treadmill then I beat up my swinging arm on the side of the treadmill. There is no way in hell im swinging both arms. I will definitely face plant once both arms hit the side of the machine. So…excuse my one bruised arm and crazy video. I need my Fitbit steps damn it. Eventually I will defeat the treadmill monster. 😊 

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