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Gorge

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m sure the normal person has plans to spend time with family and friends celebrating the upcoming new year. My plans seem to be eat everything I can and have a stare off with the scale. I’m not sure what to compare the feeling to except maybe someone that knows they are going to a deserted island and is trying to pack food in their body to survive because they don’t know when they will eat again. Yes I know that is far from normal. I’ve never been one of those people that eats huge amounts of food. In fact I’ve probably been the opposite not eating enough. I just don’t eat the right things. Today…well that’s been different. Perhaps I’m scared. I’ve always dreaded the scale. I know that number isn’t going to be pretty and for some unknown reason I keep adding to it today. Tomorrow is a new beginning and I’m not sure how or where to start. I’m scared of failing. Am I strong enough this time or will I just fall back into old habits like usual? All I know at this point is gorging sucks. I feel like crap right now. I need to stop being a giant punk and get on the damn scale already. Wish me luck! Once I get over the embarrassment I will share the details. 

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