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The Nutty Professor 

Yesterday was the first official day of taking these lovely diet pills. I felt sluggish all day long. I was constantly yawning and really just wanted to go to sleep. Of course that would have been frowned upon considering I was at work. I ate the same things and portions that I normally ate. There were no side effects as far as I could tell other than feeling blah. After work I went home, ate dinner and watched tv. I went to sleep at my normal old lady time around 10pm. I woke up at 2:30am. Naturally I did what any human would do. I tossed and turned trying to convince myself to go back to sleep. It didn’t happen. Finally at around 5am I accepted defeat and got ready to go walking. I walked a little longer this morning because why not…I had the time. Once I got home and started getting my things together I noticed my hands were swollen. Holy shit! The damn side effects have kicked in. I instantly look down to see if my ankles and feet were swollen. Yep…I’m too fat to tell. I have now convinced myself I’m having a nutty professor moment. You know when little Sherman starts expanding into big Sherman. Because I’m overly dramatic and a thousand thoughts are rushing thru my mind. What water temperature should I use in the shower? Am I going to develop a damn rash next? Are my pants going to fit? Should I soak my hands in Epsom salt? Don’t worry at some point I put the crazy in check. It took me a little bit especially after I put my pants on. It felt like they were tighter than usual on my thighs. Oh hell this is a real life blowfish situation. My fingernail polish is shrinking because the rest of my hands are so huge. Crazy pills made me wake up early and now look at me. Like I needed to be swollen. So what do I do when I feel like I’m larger than normal? I get a giant stripped shirt to wear to work. I’m sure people are still trying to understand my lines. I snap out of the drama and pretend the swelling will go down. After a whole lot of judgement from a coworker…the swelling did go down. I did feel better today even though I got up so freakin early. I didn’t eat as much today so I guess something is working. It’s after 10pm now and I’m praying I will fall asleep soon. Hopefully the nutty professor will not show up tomorrow. Hopefully no other strange side effect shows up either. 😊

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