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Yes I’m inappropriate 

I’ve never claimed to be innocent or perfect in any way. In fact if you have read any other blogs or know me you know that I’m brutally honest. So since it has been one of those days you now get to read my gripes for the day. 

  1. I woke up early…really early. I intended to get to work early to take over the world but when I checked my email from home like a true workaholic I discovered that our system would be down for quite some time. 
  2. I could not go back to sleep so I went to work early and complained about the system not being up.
  3. Eventually we ventured out to lunch. While eating I noticed a guy sitting across from us had his legs spread open and one of his balls was escaping. Did he not feel the breeze? Thank you for bouncing your leg. I’m sure your free ball enjoyed it.
  4. After consuming all of that sweet tea at lunch I had to pee. Tell me why the stalls are so tiny. Trying to maneuver around in that tiny thing is like fighting my way in and out of spandex. That shit doesn’t work for fat people.
  5. Would you purchase used workout clothes? The answer is no people. I don’t care how many times you wash it. It will never be clean enough. That’s a whole lot of sweat and juices you can never get out. 
  6. Hot yogurt will kill you. There is nothing left to say here. 
  7. I’m lazy as hell. 
  8. My body shape is a recycled can. Everything touches everything. Chin touches boobs, boobs touch belly, belly touches legs. The end. 
  9. Thigh gap? Really people?!? My calf gap is almost gone.
  10. Do I look like I need pizza for dinner? Nope but that’s what my big ass is eating tonight. 
  11. My hair feels like pine straw right now. Yes I need a cut and color badly but considering I go to work with a beard do you think pine straw hair will bother me?
  12. Someone needs to stop eating something. Every single freakin day they blow up the bathroom at work. For the love of God and all that is holy please stop.
  13. Nasty peeps….wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. Maybe you will learn your lesson when you infect your eye with your shitty fingers. Yes you can hold the door for me because I damn sure don’t want to touch it after you. Gross.
  14. On a positive note…I survived today.

Tomorrow will be awesome!

 

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