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Big Fat Liar

I hate liars. Yes I know hate is a strong word but I’ve never understood why people lie just to lie. It’s not my best trait but I’m pretty brutally honest. Most of the times it is way too brutal. The older I get the more my filter fades. The truth is we all lie. Some lies are bigger than others. Some may even be deemed necessary. Some are just pure lies for no reason. Those are the ones I don’t get and strongly dislike. As I’m walking this morning it hits me like a surprise brick to the face. I constantly lie every single day to myself. I may try to avoid lying to others but the way I lie to myself is beyond comprehension. I tell myself I’m going to exercise, stick with a diet, start the new year off right, eat healthier, work less, workout, take time for me, save money and the list goes on and on. I make excuses when it doesn’t happen and then lie to myself by saying it is okay that I will do it later. Later never arrives and the cycle is just repeated daily. I’ve dealt with plenty of liars and people that have let me down. It gets to a point where you tell them that actions speak louder than words. Obviously it’s time to tell myself the same thing. Nobody likes to be mistreated by others but the damage that we do to ourselves is far worse than what anyone could ever possibly do to us. No one can change me but me. I treat myself as if I have no value and I know that is a lie. Until I change my thoughts I will never change my physical appearance. I’m not sure how or where to start but I know it must be done in order for me to lead the life I want to lead. I have existed for a long time. It’s time to live now. 


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