It’s been a really tough week. I attempted to do both the videos and walking each day beginning on Sunday. That worked out until Friday. Due to technical issues I could not get the video to start. To make matters worse I ran out of my Shakeology the previous week. I rely on the Shakeology to be my breakfast each morning. Without it I fell into my old habit of picking something up at the drive thru. A majority of my other meals were not the best either. I thought perhaps if I put in the work with the videos and walking I would still come out on top. Obviously that is not true because I gained yet again. It boggles my mind how quickly I gain weight and how it feels like it I’m so slow to lose it. Today I feel defeated for sure. Don’t worry it will only last a short amount of time. I know if I allow it to take over then I will give up. Quitting is not an option for me. I guess I never thought the battle for a healthier me would be so tough. I assumed since I’m so large that the weight would just fall off if I exercised. I didn’t think it would be easy but I didn’t think the fight would be so hard. I guess I just need to reevaluate everything. Perhaps instead of focusing on the long term goal so much I need to set shorter goals. I should really stop trying to have the best of both worlds with my meals. I can’t drink queso and eat pies and expect to lose weight. I’m disappointed in myself for even thinking that was an option. That door needs to be closed and cemented shut. I can do this. I know it. I’m not meant to be obese and unhealthy. I have the tools to win this battle it’s just up to me to use them.