This is the question I was asking myself after getting out of the shower this morning. I looked down only to find this huge white belly. Where in the world are my feet? I had to keep leaning over to find them. I make my way to the dreaded mirror only to see a bearded lady with white hairs sticking out of random places on my face. The majority are black hairs. I mean why not? Why not have a black beard on a female so that we can make sure everybody can see it? Then of course I start to look at the hair on my head. Yep…several white hairs there too. I’m sure I will fully convert to Santa by Christmas if I don’t do something. Operation stop the evolving Santa is in full swing now. I’m going shopping today for healthier foods so I can get back on track to do a one two punch to my fat belly. I need to find my feet again. I can dye the hair on my head. The bearded lady part may be a little challenging. I’m guessing my hormones are out of whack so the good doctor is running some test now. Let’s see where I end up in a month. Yes I will post pics if I legit become the first fat chick Santa. 🎅🏽 As cute as he is I would prefer to be a slimmer woman than a jolly old man.